Personal confession, I am a control freak.
I tend to hide this fact pretty well but here I am twenty days away from everything in my life-changing, in the best kind of God way, and I currently feel very out of control.
In learning that on the days when I feel most out of control, anxious, fearful, and start doubting God’s truths, the Holy Spirit in small, beautiful, and sometimes super profound ways is teaching me and speaking to me quietly that it is ok to not be in control.
The reality is that very, very soon and even this summer my life, heart, and emotions are in the beginning stages of big transformation. I know the next nine or ten months will be filled with some of the highest joy and fulfillment and also some of the hardest refinement thus far.
In realizing how much I want to be in control of my life and situations, I have realized how much it isn’t my job to be in control. It is God’s job.
He is the one that has been enthroned above it all for all of eternity. He is the one that has all things in His perfect plan. He is the only one that knows each day of my World Race journey. He has all authority in heaven and on earth.
When I am reminded of these truths, that is when my mind, heart, body, and spirit fall under peace that comes from the Holy Spirit alone. When I realize I am covered by the blood of Jesus, and when I get to sit in the Lord’s presence, that is when I am made whole. That is when I give up control. And it is so so freeing.
