Personal confession, I am a control freak.
I tend to hide this fact pretty well but here I am twenty days away from everything in my life-changing, in the best kind of God way, and I currently feel very out of control.
In learning that on the days when I feel most out of control, anxious, fearful, and start doubting God’s truths, the Holy Spirit in small, beautiful, and sometimes super profound ways is teaching me and speaking to me quietly that it is ok to not be in control.
The reality is that very, very soon and even this summer my life, heart, and emotions are in the beginning stages of big transformation. I know the next nine or ten months will be filled with some of the highest joy and fulfillment and also some of the hardest refinement thus far.
In realizing how much I want to be in control of my life and situations, I have realized how much it isn’t my job to be in control. It is God’s job.
He is the one that has been enthroned above it all for all of eternity. He is the one that has all things in His perfect plan. He is the only one that knows each day of my World Race journey. He has all authority in heaven and on earth.
When I am reminded of these truths, that is when my mind, heart, body, and spirit fall under peace that comes from the Holy Spirit alone. When I realize I am covered by the blood of Jesus, and when I get to sit in the Lord’s presence, that is when I am made whole. That is when I give up control. And it is so so freeing.
WOW thanks for being vulnerable, I hope you continue to press into the inheritance you have in christ!!
Katherine, As much as I don’t want to admit it, “Your apple just doesn’t fall too far from this tree,” to twist the words a bit on the old saying. Unfortunately, if you are a control freak, you learned it from the best of us! Oh, how I deceive myself regularly into thinking that I, too, am in control. HA! The Lord reminds me, also pretty regularly, that I am not.
Your heart and mind are firmly grounded in solid truth: Yes, God has all authority in heaven and on earth. Hallelujah! And He alone ushers in a peace that passes all human understanding when we yield our lives to His authority, His plan, His ways. Praying you walk in that true freedom all the days of your life, and specifically during these next few weeks and months.
Love you! ~Mama
Beautiful reminder of truth to all of us, Katherine! And your apple didn’t fall far from the “mama tree” on your trust and surrender to God, as well! You’ve had a great hero of faith to learn from! Love you both! Leanne
Katherine, well said!!! LOVE this so much. I agree with you, when we decide to give control to OUR Heavenly Father, things change and we see Him at work in our lives! He is going to use you in a great way I am convinced of that. You are an amazing young woman of God and have more wisdom than you think …SEE YOU SOON!
my confession: time and time again, reading your blogs feels like you took the thoughts straight from my brain LOL!!! be encouraged that you are far from alone in this—a culture of self-sufficiency & self-reliance is pretty great at breeding control freaks (speaking from personal experience!!) I love you and am so excited to walk in this alongside you this year! how sweet that we will be able to look back months and years from now at these struggles and see how far the Lord has brought us & grown us! thank you for being open and vulnerable in this (its a hard thing to admit) because it has encouraged me this evening and made me feel so seen!! see you soon!